it's not over
by JinxedBinx
Summary: {auverse, not much wrestling, mix of real and ring names, ofcxambrose} Kylie Lopez is the baby sister of Colby Lopez, aka Seth Rollins of Shield. She's also the former girlfriend of Jonathan Good, aka Dean Ambrose. When she walked away, he thought he'd never see her again after the hell he put her through, but she shows up at the arena one night, and they realize that it's not over
1. Chapter 1

"Either you know where my brother is, or you don't. Either way, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop fucking around and find him." Kylie said as her eyes scanned the hallway behind the man's head and she tried to find her older brother, Colby, better known as Seth to his co workers, the fans of the show, 1 third of the Shield.

"You sure you don't want me to hang around until he shows, cutie?" Brad Maddox asked as Kylie rolled her eyes and then said one more time, firmly, "No. And I'm pretty damn sure that I won't change my mind in the next 5 seconds either, so can you please for the love of Christ, fuck off already?"

He walked away grumbling and Kylie sighed, sinking to sit on the floor of the hallway, her head in her hands as she tried to sort out the mess she'd managed to get herself into, currently.

She'd come to her brother because her brother was the only safe haven she had left. Everywhere else she'd tried running to, her problems, - mainly an ex she'd like to murder with her bare hands – popped right back up again and frankly, she was getting more than a little sick of it.

Already, she could hear her older brother saying 'Told you so.' as he gave her that smirk he was notorious for giving. And he'd be right to say it, really. She'd deserve to hear him tell her he'd told her so.

The worst part in all of this was what she'd given up because she thought it'd make the person she really wanted happy. She'd given up the one guy she loved more than anything because she'd gotten sick of the feelings not being returned by that person, to her.

He kept making excuses like she was too young, or he was too messed up, or something, and no matter what he told her, she'd always try and convince him otherwise.

Until she just couldn't anymore, until it'd become clear that the one thing Jonathan Good was really good at was self destruction. He couldn't stop until he'd burned all of his bridges.

Unfortunately, she'd been one of the bridges burned, but she'd had the good sense to walk away first. She'd just gotten damn sick of being pushed to the side for prettier and better. She'd gotten sick of feeling something for him, admitting it and having him use it against her when he'd get pissed at her.

Of course, her brother, to be fair, had also warned her plenty of times about her relationship with Jon, how it'd never work out because he'd only hurt her to keep her from hurting him.

"Damn it, where the hell are you, Colby?" she muttered as she walked down the hallway, keeping her head down, careful not to meet anyone else's eyes, careful not to let everyone see just how stupid she'd been.

She'd just sent him a text, yet again , when she'd smashed directly into the very person she'd taken great pains to avoid since the last time they'd seen one another, the day she left because she couldn't take it anymore.

"_I was thinkin about her, thinkin bout me, thinkin about us, what we gon be, opened my eyes, it was only just a dream.."_

"Kylie." he muttered as he looked at her, the shock of actually seeing her, standing in front of him, in person at that, hitting him about as hard as a DDT.

"Jon.. Don't suppose you've seen Colby, have you?" she muttered, looking away quickly, not wanting to have the discussion about her appearance or what happened to her, with her former boyfriend, the only man she'd ever really let herself love and been burned by too many times over.

"He's in catering. What the hell are you doing here?" he snarled practically as he tried to keep the tough front up. Inside, deep down inside, seeing her again, it'd sort of knocked him on his ass, really. He'd actually been thinking a lot about her lately.

"None of your business. Now let me by." Kylie said hollowly as she shoved around him, trying to keep her bruises out of sight. But he grabbed her wrists, she winced in pain.. Too familiar, she knew exactly what those hands were capable of if he was angered enough. Apparently, he wasn't quite over her walking away from him yet.

She bit her lip and said stiffly, "Let me the fuck go now, or I'll fucking scream."

"Who did that to ya?" he asked as he made her look at him, anger surging, surprising him even more.

Just when he thought he was done with the past, with wondering what might have been if he hadn't thrown it all away, she shows up again in his life, naturally.

"Not any of your business either." Kylie said stubbornly as she jerked her hand free one more time, then stomped on his foot to make him let her leave, and tore off down the hallway.

When she turned the corner, she flopped into a nearby chair, and started to cry, seeing him again had been so very much harder on her than she'd originally thought when she'd come here tonight, intending to just find her brother, get the key to his place in Florida, and leave again after explaining the mess she was in, why she needed his apartment key and why she was going to be living with him for a while.

"Are you okay?" a familiar female voice asked her and she looked up, biting her lip as she shook her head no. "No, I'm not okay. I just.. I need to find Colby, Celeste, do you know where he is?"

"He's in catering. You're pale and shaking."

"Because I saw Jon again. And it didn't go over well."

"Ahh. I get it now. Do I need to spear him or.."

"No, just leave him alone, Celeste. I'm the one who walked away, remember?"

"Yeah, but nobody blames you, Ky."

"Yeah, Cel, but sometimes, I just wish I hadn't." Kylie said as she leaned back in her chair, her hand in her thick, long and wavy black hair as Kaitlyn held out her hand. "C'mon.. I'll walk down with you."

"Thanks. I need someone to talk to right now, or I'm gonna do something really, really stupid."

"Such as?"

"I'll go back there and find him again, Cel, I know it. The feelings, they never fucking left and seeing him again brought it all back.. How can you love someone so much and fear them in the same way?"

"Love's weird." the two toned Diva muttered as they walked down the hallway quietly.

Seth was sittting in catering when he saw his baby sister walk in. He groaned as soon as he saw her face and muttered to Roman, "Hey man, hold my food.. Do not let that fucking Ryback get it."

"What's going on?" Roman asked through a mouth full as he watched Seth take off at a run, and hug some girl he had only seen in pictures in Seth's photo albums until now.

"Sis, what the fuck did he do to you?" Seth demanded as Kylie sighed and said "It doesn't matter.. I left.. I came here to..."

"She's a little shaken up." Kaitlyn explained as Seth asked, "Why?"

"She had a run in with him."

"Did he hurt you too?"

"No, he didn't... He actually seemed concerned, which is totally above what I'd expect.. But as usual, he opened his mouth and proceeded to remind me why it'd never work."

"Okay, back to the situation that bought you here, sis.. We're done with that part of your life, you will NOT be going back." Seth said firmly as Kylie bit her lower lip and then muttered, "It's kinda hard, considering I still love him.."

Seth groaned and then said "So.. You left Michael tonight.. Did Michael do this to you?" as he gestured towards her face, her overall frantic and disheveled appearance.

Kylie nodded and Seth grabbed his keys and jacket as he said in a low growl, "That's fucking it, I'm going to murder him.. I knew when I came to stay on downtime he was up to something, I should have yanked you out of there then."

"Colby.. I'm an adult now.. I made the mess, I should clean it up."

"Oh no.. Not this time.. You just sit tight and let big brother get this, okay?"

"Like you did with Jon? You could have killed.."

"Kylie, we're not going back to it. It's in the past. You're just getting out of this mess, I'm not gonna sit back and watch you go back through that with him, again."

Kylie sighed as she sat down and took a few sips from a bottled water that Kaitlyn butted in line and got for her, then said quietly, "Just leave Michael alone, okay? Trust me, I handled it."

"If he's still breathing, sis, then it's not handled enough for me. Let me guess, he fucked some other girl, you confronted him, it turned to violence?"

"Basically, but hey.. This time, I hit him first."

Seth gaped at his sister and then smirked a little as he said "No shit.. Really? Quiet little meek you?"

"Yes, Colby, me. Occasionally, I do have it in me to get really good and pissed."

Dean walked into catering and sat down at the table with Roman, eyeing Seth and Kylie carefully as he said quietly, "That's her, man."

"Who?"

"The girl.. The one I was drunk off my ass the other night, talking about?"

"Ohhhh." Roman said as he suddenly realized exactly why Seth and Dean fought the way they did from time to time. "What happened to her?"

"Dunno, but when I find out, whoever did it is dead." Dean said as he snapped a plastic fork in half, watching her intently.

As soon as Seth got the key to his apartment, he also gave Kylie the key to the hotel room he was sharing with Dean and Roman while on the road. "Just go sleep, sis. We're gonna get in kinda late, most likely. Don't worry, I'll make damn sure Dean doesn't mess with you."

"I can drive."

"No, you are not. It's too damn late tonight, there's bad weather coming in and I don't want you getting upset and getting into a wreck." Seth said firmly as Kylie muttered, "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Babying me, Colby."

"I'm your older brother, it's what I'm supposed to do. Now just take the key card, go to the hotel and sleep. You look like you need sleep anyway. Then when I head home for downtime tomorrow, we can go together, make a road trip out of it."

She sighed as she smiled a little, hugged her older brother, and walked out of the arena, got into the rental car she'd gotten at the airport when her plane landed earlier.

He was right, she hadn't slept well in a very, very long time.

As soon as she was at the hotel room, she called her brother and checked in, then took a quick shower and fell into bed, squeezing her eyes shut. Just as she started to drift off to sleep, she thought about seeing Jon earlier, and how all the feelings were back.

She groaned in frustration as she shoved her head under the pillow in the second bed in the room.

They'd just walked out of the bar, when Seth realized that since Roman's fiance and kid were in town with him, Dean was rooming with him tonight. He grumbled as he palmed his forehead and then caught up to Dean in the parking lot.

"My sister's in my room. Keep your damn hands off. I mean it, Good. Don't make me kick your ass."

"Trust me.. Done with her. She left me, remember? Besides, why the hell would I want her? She's just a damn kid."

"She's only 4 years younger than you, damn it. But do not touch her."

Dean muttered something and lit a cigarette getting into his own rental car, pulling out of the parking lot. He'd been planning on going to a nightclub with Seth and some chick Seth met in this bar they'd both just left, but when Seth told him that Kylie was in the hotel room, well..

About ten minutes later, he slid the key into the key card slot on the hotel rooms door, found her sleeping fitfully on his bed of all places. He paced, swearing as he watched her, his hand in his hair.

"Fuck it." he muttered as he sank down onto the bed, slid into place behind her.

And just as he figured, glutton for punishment he thought himself to be currently, it was still a perfect damn fit.

Kylie rolled over just after 2 am and realized she couldn't really move much because someone was lying in bed behind her, their arm and leg thrown over her. She shot up in the bed after flinging the arm and leg off of her and turned on the light, then realized it was Jon.

She poked him awake and then said stiffly, "There's a couch, perfectly good one at that, right over there."

"What the fuck?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you, Ky.. But your eyes say somethin entirely different." Dean muttered as he looked at her, then sat up.

Kylie rolled her eyes and then stood,turning off the lights and then snatching one of the queen sized pillows and a blanket as she walked over to the bed, not bothering to hide the fact that she still slept in one of his old t shirts.

Flopping onto the couch, she wiggled into a semi comfortable position as she lie there in the darkness, waiting on him to fall asleep.

"I knew I should have fucking driven back to Florida." she muttered to herself as she bit her lip, tried not to think of how right it'd felt to wake up, finding him in a rare moment of vulnerability holding her as tightly as possible.

He'd never done that when she was actually with him, hell, when they'd been together a few years before, she was lucky if he even came back from the bar after the shows at night – and he damn sure didn't come back and fall into bed behind her quietly, moving his lips across her shoulder blades-, even if he KNEW she were there waiting on him..

So what made him do it tonight?

" _I swear now I can't take it, knowin somebody's got my baby, now you ain't around and all I can think is shoulda put it down shoulda got that ring," _

Dean lie there in the bed by himself as he thought back on all of the times he'd had her, waiting here, on him, before she'd just finally gotten sick of all of the pain and the lies, the hurt and the occasional temper flare up that resulted in him doing something he regretted later and hurting her physically.

What the hell had he done? Why had he even done it, really? And all it'd accomplished, from the looks of it, was push her straight into the arms of the first fuck that'd hurt her.

" _Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback."_

He stood and walked over to the couch, watched her lying there, asleep. He'd seen the red t shirt that went missing from his stuff a few years ago when she'd gotten up to make a hasty retreat to the couch just now and seeing it on her only reminded him of every single thing he'd done to make her walk away.

But he was the way he was, and she'd known it. The fact that she'd stuck around as long as she had back then, it'd frankly kind of surprised him, to be completely honest.

Parts of him now wanted to pick her up and carry her back to the bed, get in beside her again, just to fool himself into thinking for one night that he hadn't shoved her away back then, but he knew that wouldn't fix things either.

And standing there, in the dark, he shocked himself the most when he realized that yes, he actually did want to rewind things, fix them. He wanted to go back and fix everything he'd done to her. But he realized he couldn't, that frustrated him.

Finally, he did pick her up and put her on the bed, cover her up. He flopped down onto the couch and lie there pretty much just thinking about everything seeing Kylie again bought up for him.

If he ever got a second chance, he'd probably fuck it up all over again.. But stubbornly, parts of him, despite her having walked away in the first place because of the things he'd done to her, wanted to try again.

He sat up on the couch, walked over to the bed and sat in the chair next to it, drinking a cold Bud Light as he watched her sleeping.

Kylie rolled over and looked at him with a raised brow as she asked, "Something wrong?"

"Everything, Ky." he muttered as he looked at her bitterly, then asked casually, "So.. You're gonna ride back to Florida with Seth and me?"

"Crap.. You're going too?"

Dean nodded as he said quietly, "We're gonna talk."

"No, we're not, Jon, because I'm going back to sleep."

"No, you're not."

She growled to herself as she sat up and turned on the light then said finally, "Fine. You talk. I'm not in the mood."

"You said you wouldn't leave, Ky."

"And you promised me a lot of shit too, Jon." Kylie retorted as she bit her lower lip then said quietly, "Sorry, I.. I just wasn't really planning on running into you tonight. In fact, I kinda tried my best to avoid it."

The overhead lights coming on and Seth's growl had him standing quickly as Kylie said quietly, "Colby, just don't, okay?"

"I told him specifically NOT to mess with you." Seth said as he started towards Dean.

"And I told ya that I still loved her, damn it."

"Yeah? Well you have a damn funny way of showing it, man."

"Yeah? Tell me something I don't know. She knew what the fuck she was getting into."

"That might be true and god did I try and do anything I could to keep you two apart, man, but trust me.. She doesn't need this, not now."

"I'm just gonna go down to Celeste's room. It's fucking obvious you two are gonna fight and for no damn reason. And Jon? If you really loved me, you would have at least tried to stop me from walking out that door back then.. But hey, you didn't, did you?" Kylie said as she grabbed jeans, slid them on and took off down the stairwell outside, to Kaitlyn's room, on the floor below theirs.

She knocked on the door and Kaitlyn threw it open after a series of grumbling and swearing. When she saw Kylie standing there, she stepped aside and let her in then asked, "Let me guess.. They're fighting."

"And neither of them will listen to a damn thing I might say. But Jon.. He said he still loved me.."

"Right. Sure he does.. That's why he tried so damn hard the first time around, when he had you. Don't listen to him, Ky, you know how he is.. He'll say and do anything if he's bored, pretty much."

"Yeah, but the look in his eyes.."

"Meant nothing, Ky.. Let's just get some sleep, okay?" Kaitlyn said quietly as she explained the whole thing to Natalya who sighed and said "Let's just scoot the beds together and talk. I haven't seen you in a really, really long time."

"I know. I missed you guys."

"We missed you."

"Now, spill.. What's going on?"

Kylie explained everything and then ended by saying, "And then I see Jon again tonight and it all comes back."

After a few more minutes of mostly Nat and Kaitlyn trying to convince her that it was not a smart move to trust Dean when they had a history and he'd done so much to hurt her, try and break her down, she finally got calm and went to sleep.

Now all she had to do was get through the two days drive to Florida, and then get through about two weeks of his constantly being around, because he and Seth had the same apartment building..

But it was better than what she'd just come out of, right?

"I can do this. I have to do this." she muttered to herself sternly before finally letting herself go to sleep. But automatically, she started to dream of one of the many times they'd been together..

And the words they'd both said then, in the heat of the moment came back to haunt her, over and over, like a cd that's skipping.

x.x

_'it's always gonna be me and you, babe. No matter what or who else tries to change it, we'll always find our way back. Promise me.'_

_'jon, I..'_

_'say it, babe.'_

_'okay, you're right.. it's always gonna be me and you. I love you, babe.'_

_he leaned down and kissed her roughly, his teeth nipping at her full lower lip as his hand wandered up her leg and he held her tightly against him, their argument from earlier in the night long forgotten, the two of them so completely wrapped up in one another._

_Everything was right again, finally._

x.x


	2. Chapter 2

x.x

_" Jon, I.. Mmm.. I love the way you do that.. I love.."_

_"Say it, Ky."_

_" I love you, babe. And you're right, it's always gonna be us. No matter what happens. I promise. I'm not gonna walk away."_

x.x

The alarm clock going crazy next to his head had him sitting up, swearing aloud as he threw his phone at a wall. Damn it, he hadn't wanted to wake from the dream, she was in his arms again, everything was alright again, he wasn't spiraling out of control yet. In his dream, he had plenty of time to stop himself from doing everything he'd done to hurt her, drive her away, and he could still taste the heat in their kisses, feel her soft curves underneath him as she screamed his name, over and over. But now, he was awake, and early at that.. He'd set his alarm so maybe he could catch Kylie awake and Seth asleep so they could go somewhere and talk.

From the looks of it, the opposite was going to happen, apparently, because it was Kylie who lie sleeping in bed, Seth who sat awake sipping an energy drink and reading the sports page, while eating some kind of muffin or something.

Seth glared at Dean and then looked at his still sleeping younger sister then said calmly, "Why set it so early?"

Dean shrugged and glaring at his friend, he rolled his shoulders, popping them. Sleeping on the couch hadn't been his ideal bed, but he knew that Seth was lying there in the dark, waiting on him to get up, make a move to go towards the bed, so he could turn on the lights, and probably fight him again. They'd had a fight after Kylie stormed out the night before, and they were both sporting the black eyes, the busted lips and noses today as a result.

"Because, reasons, that's why. What's it to ya?" Dean asked frostily as he stood, pulled on some old gym shorts, stretched and pulled a t shirt down over his head. "Goin for a jog."

"Good. The farther you stay away from her, the better off you're gonna be, man." Seth replied calmly as he gave his friend a warning glare.

In the bed, Kylie stirred a little, pillow going over her head to block out the talking and the lights, as her long bare leg kicked out from beneath the cover and she muttered something in her sleep, her hands going up in front of her face beneath the pillow as if to shield herself from being hit in the face.

Dean felt his stomach turning at the sight and he almost reached over, tapped her to wake her, but Seth growled and said stiffly, "It's probably best you go for that jog now, got it?"

He growled to himself and set off for the track in the park across the street. "Now how the fuck am I supposed to fix shit if big brother's not even gonna let me breathe on her?" he wondered to himself only to have Kaitlyn speak up from behind him, "Maybe you shoulda thought about that before you did all the things you did to her.. She won't say it, Dean, but we all know how hard it was for her to walk away from you. But you drove her to do it. And every day for her since, it's been hell. Maybe it's for the best if you leave her alone. Stick to the non committment ring rats you like so much."

"Bitch, if I wanted ya opinion, I'd ask ya for it. I didn't." Dean snarled as Kaitlyn said "She's like a sister to me, Ambrose.. Not gonna stand back, watch you rip her heart out again."

"She fucking left me, Kaitlyn."

"Because if she hadn't, you'd have destroyed her."

"Get fucking lost." Dean growled as he jogged off, angrily. He happened to look across the street, see Kylie walking, limping rather, down the hotel stairs, dressed as if she were intending on leaving. He didn't think, he just ran.

A few seconds later found him standing beside her rental car, and he knocked on the window.

Kylie groaned as she looked up, saw Colby watching grimly from the window of the hotel room they'd all used the night before, right as Jon knocked on her window.

She cracked it and said quietly, "I'll let you talk, but I'm done. Go to the park, I'll be over there in a just a minute." as she backed up, drove off.

Dean stared after the car, then his brain kicked into high gear as he mentally reminded himself why this wasn't going to work out, why he should just leave her be. But the magnetism and the passion, all the other feelings he felt for her, they overruled the workings of his common sense, and of course, as soon as Seth shut the window, smirking in smug contented happiness that baby sister had just done as she'd been told, supposedly, he looked around, then assuming the coast was clear, he jogged over to the park, to a more secluded area.

Kylie got out of her car and leaned against it, keys in hand, eyeing him warily. Before he got any closer, she said calmly, "Just know this, Jon.. I have mace, if you try anything with me, you won't like what happens."

He threw up his hands, stayed as far away from her as he could resist. Then looking at the ground, he said quietly, "I never got over it, ya know? We coulda..."

"You fucked it up, babe.. Not me. That was all you, Jon." Kylie reminded him as she bit her lower lip and then said quietly, "But sadly, even though it's fucked up and I shouldn't, I still love you.. Despite everything my brother tells me, the girls.. I still love you, I still want you.. I'm standing here right now, disgusted with myself because on the one hand, I'm afraid of the day you snap again and use that to hurt me, and wanting to run over there, jump in your arms and see if the spark's still there. But I'm not just thinking about me anymore, Jon.."

"What do ya mean?"

"Found out this morning I'm pregnant with my bastard ex's kid. Just a guess here, that pretty much ended your fascination with me, with fixing this, didn't it?"

Dean thought it over a moment and then said quietly, "I dunno, Ky. Why don't ya be brave, walk over here, find out."

"Because I'm not stupid, Jon. I know every reason why this won't work."

"Yeah? Well, how the hell ya really gonna know if ya don't give us another chance, Ky?"

"Because, Jon, I've spent the past few years living in the same situation I left you to avoid living in. I'm just tired, Jon. Tired of being lied to, made an idiot of, having my feelings used against me, being abused and abandoned. And I know you won't change."

He stared at her, moved a little closer. "Ya know it's not over. It's not gonna be over. It can't. I'm not gonna let it." he said as his hand slid slowly over her cheek, he leaned in a little closer, migrated her body against his, groaning as the feel of her soft curves left him wanting to do so very much more.

"It has to be, Jon. This shit isn't healthy. But damn it, I don't wanna let it be over either. Even though you're probably the most toxic person I could be involved with right now.." her words fell away as she groaned, tilted her head back a little to look up at him.

He took advantage of this, his lips wandering slowly in a very familiar way down her neck. "I missed doin that." he muttered with a smirk as she gasped a little when his teeth closed down on the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulders.

"Jon, don't..." she tried to resist as he muttered, "Too late." before his lips found hers, their tongues dancing as he nibbled her full lower lip, his hands slid slowly all over her smaller body.

She gave him a firm push back as she tried one more time to just walk away, this was a little too much like opening Pandora's box for her liking, really, but he shook his head, grabbed her, sitting her on the hood of the car as he continued to kiss her all over.

The ringing of her cell phone stopped things from getting too far out of hand and he growled as she answered it, walked a safe enough distance away from him to talk to her brother quietly. She walked back over and looked at him as she said quietly, "That should not have happened.. I... I need to go... Now."

He tried to grab her hand to keep her there, but she shook her head, pried her wrist loose, and got into her car, leaving abruptly.

If all that just happened in the space of ten minutes, then how in the hell was she going to resist him for the better part of 2 or three weeks while they were all together or nearby in Florida.

She bit her lip as she sat in her car, composed herself, stared up at the hospital's entrance.. If this test came back positive, if she was really pregnant, not just some false positive on the home EPT, then everything was changed.. But he'd known she might be, in the park, and he still tried his damndest to make her stay, to make her listen to him, to suck her back in again...

What if they tried things again and this time, they worked out?

She grumbled as she got out, locked her car and walked in the entrance on shaky legs.


	3. Chapter 3

x.x

_'Never said I was gonna be a good guy, Kylie.'_

_"I never asked you to, Jon. What I did ask for is a little fucking respect and not bringing some whore back to OUR hotel room."_

_' I'd say it's not what it looks like, Kylie, but I'm not a damn liar. Besides, weren't you all over that fuckin prick Danielson earlier? I mean I did see ya talkin to him, standin all close, being all giggly and shit..'_

_"I was trying to explain to him that.. Nevermind, Jonathan.. You have your fucking mind already well made up. I'm just another whore to you now, I'm not on that pedestal anymore. Well guess what, you're not, either."_

_'Aww, I'm real hurt, babe. If you'll excuse me, Kylie, I been told it's not good to keep a lady waiting.'_

_" Fuck you you prick bastard. I'm gone now. That bitch better be gone when I get back, or we're done."_

_'depends on how good she is in bed, Ky. hey, babe? Hit the lights on your way out. Don't give me that fuckin look.. You fucked Danielson earlier, I'm bettin.'_

_"Oh trust me, Jon.. If I had? I damn sure wouldn't be here right now, because I'm betting he'd still be going." - looks over his shoulder and into the bed area, calls out - "Hope you're not expecting too much, Mr. Sexy here... He only lasts 8 and a half minutes."_

x.x

She sat in the waiting room, twisting her hands together, biting her full lower lip as she thought back over all of the hell Jonathan Good put her through, and all the hell that Michael Morgan put her through. If she were smart, she'd let that kiss from earlier go. She'd stay the hell away from Jonathan, she'd forget everything that kiss bought back to the front of her mind, and she'd get the hell out of dodge.

The doors to the lab opened and the doctor motioned her forward. She walked over on shakier legs as she bit her lip, wincing when she drew blood, the coppery taste filled her mouth, made her taste bitter. She sat down and the doctor said quietly, "It was a false positive, ma'am. I'm not sure how that's going to make you feel, but.." as the male looked at her, as if trying to gauge her reaction.

Oddly enough, Kylie wasn't sure exactly how to feel. On the one hand, she felt cheated, she felt like she was ready for this, even if she'd be facing it totally alone, then there was the other hand..

Something in her mind kept telling her to not rush it.. When the time was right and everything in her life was back in it's correct order again, then she could think about the future, maybe find a nice guy, have a baby for real this time.

She stood and nodded, thanking the kind faced old man as she walked out of the doctors office and into the sunlight, shielding her eyes against the brightness.

The voice spoke up beside her as he caught up with her.

"Well?" Dean asked as he gave her an odd look. He'd obviously been pacing outside, he'd somehow followed her here, for why, she didn't really know.

Kylie sighed raggedly and then said in a small voice, "I'm not pregnant. But it still doesn't mean.."

He could sense by the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice that somehow she'd been let down to find out the EPT was a false positive. Before he even realized what he was doing, he'd pulled her against him as he said stiffly, "I'm sorry, Ky."

"Don't be, Jon. It's probably for the best, I mean..." Kylie trailed off reluctantly as he held a finger to her lips, helped her to her car, neither of them saying anything until he leaned in the window and pulled her into another kiss like the one from the park earlier.

"You have to stop doing that, Jon. I mean it. We cannot work this out, we've hurt each other a little too much in the past."

"I'm not gonna stop tryin. So deal with it." Dean said as he whispered, "Wouldn't mention me being here to Colby.. He almost went batshit insane when he thought I was down at ya car talkin to ya earlier."

"Is it me you want, or are you just doing this to get a rise out of my big brother, Jon? Because if you're bored, I heard AJ Lee's always up for a new conquest."

"Eughh. Watch ya fuckin mouth, babe. We both know ya want me, we both know where ya belong.. And I'm gonna make ya see it."

Kylie didn't argue, instead, she gave him one quick and shy, wary kiss, then said calmly, "I'm going now, Jon. Please stop doing this to me. If you really love me, you'll think about why we can't work.. "

"Already have, but babe?"  
"What, damn it?"

"We can work if we try harder."

"Since when were you actually willing to do this whole one girl and one guy bullshit? And why does it have to be me?"

"Because, Kylie, it's always been you, damn it.. Ever since the first time Colby bought ya to an ROH show."

"Do not remind me.. The fact that I was even there to see Matt Hardy fight.. Just no."

"Yeah, and then ya got all pissed when ya found out he wasn't gonna fight, he was just there to support that bitch ex of mine, Reby.. But backstage.. it was fun, right?"

"Yeah, Jon, yeah. But we have to be able to work outside of the bedroom, babe.. And we never really could do that.. Besides, you wouldn't want me now, you don't like toys that have already been broken, remember?"

She drove away, leaving him standing there, his hand in his hair as he thought about what'd driven him to follow her here, what he'd been on the verge of going in there and doing when he thought there was even the smallest chance she was pregnant.

"That's about fuckin right.. I realize just how much I do want her, how much she does matter, how bad it's been not havin her with me, and she's givin up."

The fact that she was driving away, leaving him standing in the parking lot of a doctors office only bought to mind their own little close call.. How he'd pretended not to give two shits but he'd really been scared to death..

x.x

_' ya can't be pregnant.'_

_"sure I can't, Jon.. why's this such a big deal?" _

_'because, damn it, fuckin reasons, okay?'_

_"is it about how you grew up, baby? because I've told you a million times.. you are NOT some monster. And I love you.. And if I'm not gonna have your baby, damn it, I don't wanna have one."_

_'ya say that now, Kylie, but ya what.. 19?'_

_"So? my mom wasn't that old when she had Colby. And she's fine."_

_He bit his thumb in thought as all the things everyone had ever said in a negative way about him came back at him, nagging, eating away at his confidence. He glared at her and then said stiffly, ' i need to fuckin think.'_

_He walked away, down to the bar around the corner, ducked in and had a few stiff drinks.. when he went back, she was angry and they'd had a huge fight, she kept throwing it in his face, "congratulations, asshole, you got your wish, you're off scott free."_

_And naturally, the asshole he'd been at the time, he'd taken it at face value. He hadn't bothered to comfort her about it, he hadn't bothered to talk to her about it, it'd just been another bad incident that they shoved under the rug and ignored._

x.x

A smirk filled his lips as he thought about the way her voice sounded, the way her eyes looked when she'd said that if she wasn't gonna have his kid, she wasn't ever gonna have any. And then he felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.

He'd let her walk away once. He had 2 weeks to convince her it'd been a mistake.. And all the odds were totally against him. Popping his knuckles, he laughed to himself a little and murmured, "This is gonna work." before getting into his car, driving around for a few blocks.

Kylie, however, sat on a swing at the park near the hotel, thinking about the mix of emotions she felt earlier when she'd been told it was a false positive. And then, naturally, she too thought back to what she'd said to him all that time ago, and sighing, she kicked at rocks and muttered, "It can't happen. I can't take watching him destroy himself and us, everything we could have a second time. I have to resist him, somehow, damn it." as she sat and swung herself, biting her thumb, lost in thought.

Deep down, however, she had this feeling that there was going to be no denying her feelings or their passion.. Sooner or later, the right circumstances would present themselves, and an already volatile and fireball of a situation would in fact, ignite.

The only problem Kylie had with this was her getting burned by the flames again.


	4. Chapter 4

She sat in the backseat, aware fully of Dean's presence in the car, trying not to think about it, however. Maybe if she kept quiet, the ride would go by smoothly, nobody would fight. Staring out the window, she groaned inwardly as she heard Dean humming.

He was baiting her. He wanted her to say something to him.

Seth gave Dean a sharp warning look and said casually, "If you're gonna sing, cut on the damn radio and let the people who do it for a living do it, Ambrose." as he asked his baby sister, "You alright back there, Ky?"

"Yes, Col. I'm fine." Kylie answered stiffly as she leaned back against the seat, tried to shut her eyes to take a nap. The hardest part of her situation was over, all she had to worry about now is surviving the next two weeks of their downtime without giving in to all of the old feelings and desires where Dean was concerned.

And so far, that wasn't going too well. Especially when every single time they stopped, she felt his arm reaching around the seat, grazing her bare leg, giving it a squeeze or something, just little touches.

He'd touched her more in the last 48 hours than he had in the entire space of time they'd been dating, outside the bedroom. And if she weren't so hell bent on keeping him out of her life, keeping herself from being hurt again, she'd be seriously wondering if he were being sweet to her, if he really did care, deep down.

_'Nonsense, Kylie. Why would he now? He had his chance, he blew it. You weren't a saint, Kylie, by any means, but he really screwed the pooch all those years ago.'_

**_'This isn't like him, though. He's cold, he's like ice. Nothing melts him. You're an idiot to think that it's anything to do with you, but.. He wasn't like this when you two were together. You have to be a little curious about his intentions here.. Admit it. When he kissed you, your heart raced and your stomach fluttered just a little bit like it did back then. When he looked at you after you came out of the doctor the other day.. He ALMOST looked like he meant it when he muttered that apology as he hugged you. This isn't like him, maybe he is changing.'_**

_'Really? Because you've thought that several times before, about him, and every single time, he proved you wrong. Hello, remember Reby? Or that skank, Trina? Or that little flirtation he had going on with Maxine and Summer Rae?'  
_

**_'Yeah? Well tell me this, Kylie.. Did you or did you not have your own little thing going with Johnny Curtis for a while there? And what about Bryan Danielson? They were casualties of this too, remember? Good guys that didn't deserve to be hurt because you were stupid and childish and acting out because aww, poor Kylie couldn't stand the heat.'_**

Seth studied his baby sister intently in the rearview and sighed to himself before looking over at Dean who also seemed to be lost in thought, staring out the window, a scowl on his face. He coughed to stifle the silence and then reached down, turned up the volume on the radio, only to have Dean swear, turn it down as he said "You fuckin mind? I got a damn headache."

"And?"

"And I don't wanna hear that screamo shit you like right now. I'm thinking." Dean informed him as he took out a crushed pack of cigarettes, and rolled down the window, warning Kylie, "About to smoke, ba, err, Kylie." because he remembered the smell and smoke used to make her eyes water.

She blinked a little and muttered to herself 'Now he fucking cares if I get secondhand smoke?' as she answered quietly, "Thanks."

This was going to be a very, very long car trip. And when they got there, to her brother's apartment, to Dean's just down the hall? An even longer two weeks apparently.

Seth blinked as he heard Dean actually doing something that might indicate he actually gave two shits about his baby sister. He mused about this as he drove, but deep down, he kept trying to convince himself that Dean getting back into his baby sister's life was NOT a good idea, given how much pain the two had caused one another, mutually.

He too got the feeling this was going to be a very long two weeks, and Dean's weird mood since Kylie showed up beaten up at the arena earlier in the week wasn't helping anything either.

Kylie sighed to herself as she read a text that Kaitlyn sent her, asking how things were going.

"Like shit, of course." she texted back before putting her phone up and sliding her head phones in, shutting her eyes. But even in her dreams, she couldn't escape the way he managed to invade her thoughts and her heart, her mind.

She woke up when she heard a door slamming, heard Seth ask her "Are you thirsty? I'm gonna stop for gas and something to drink."

"Not really, but can you get me a bottled water for later?" she asked as she sighed to herself. She shut her eyes again, thinking Dean might have went in too, but her eyes shot open moments later when he spoke up from the front seat.

"We need to talk."

"We pretty much said everything we needed to say the night we broke up, I'd think." she said back in a defeated tone.

"No, ya listened, I yelled, Ky."

"And?"

"Damn it, don't ya see? I'm tryin."

"Maybe it's too late."

He growled to himself a little and fell silent as he raked his hand through his hair and said calmly, "It's not too late. Not if ya kissed me back like that, Ky."

"Don't do optimism, Dean, it's not your thing.. Besides, I'm not a saint, I gave back what you dished out. I don't like doing that, hurting someone because I'm hurt." she said quietly as she added, "Thanks though.. For the other day, after the doctors appointment.. It really helped."

His hand found her bare leg and he squeezed, his thumb trailing slowly over her warm soft skin as he said "I could tell it hurt ya. Your eyes... They kinda always gave ya thoughts away."

She sighed to herself and the conversation ended as Seth got back into the car, handed her her bottled water. She went back to her nap, Dean went back to his thoughts..

_'Ya only gonna hurt her again.'_

_'But I love her. I hate seein her like this and knowin that I started it, some other fuckin jerk finished it. I gotta admit, i never got over her either.'_

_'and, if she's hurtin right now, it's probably a good idea to leave her alone. let her heal because ya only gonna break her completely this time around. she's right, man, it's too late. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, but ya didn't, did ya?'_

He rubbed his temples and ripped open the pack of BC Powder with his teeth as he took it, washing it down quickly with a beer. Then he shut his eyes and tried to catch a nap. But even in sleep, everything about her crept in, invaded his awareness. He couldn't turn it off or deny it. This time, there was no getting around it. He had to do something before it was really too late.

Because despite what she said, it wasn't too late yet. He could feel it in the kiss when he'd kissed her the other day.


	5. Chapter 5

_x.x.x_

_"It's like one minute, I wanna hold on tight, the next, I wanna put my hands around his throat until his entire face turns blue."_

**_"You know what they say about that, right?" asked Kaitlyn as she studied her friend with concern. She'd told Kylie that Jon wasn't ever magically going to be some good guy, a decent guy, but Kylie kept insisting that it didn't matter.._**

_"Yeah, I know.. True love and all that bullshit. The sad part of it is, I'm the only one who's in true love. He just doesn't get it, I could happily be with him for the rest of my life. He's the last guy I wanna ever kiss. He's the first, okay, occasionally, second, because my brother's good at butting in when I'm hurting.. But you get it.. Why can't he?"_

**_"Maybe deep down, he does, and it scares him. Have you two actually tried talking?" Kaitlyn asked Kylie who sighed and gave her friend a dirty look. The room went quiet as Jon and Colby walked in and Kaitlyn watched Kylie watching Jon._**

_"Jon, I wanna talk to ya." Kylie said as Jon eyed her, leaned in and kissing her shook his head before saying casually, "No time.. The guys, they all wanna go get drinks."_

_She bit her lip, tried to keep from just screaming at him. It wasn't his fault she was 19, couldn't go out with them when they went out. And he seemed to wanna do it all the time. _

_"Fine. Go get your drinks. Have fun. Love you." Kylie said hurriedly as she stood on tiptoe, kissed him and ruffled his hair, of course, earning her a glare from him._

_x.x.x_

They'd just gotten back to her brother's apartment complex, they were actually unloading the car as Dean remembered that particular little memory and immediately began kicking himself.

Why the hell hadn't he just taken time with her then, when he had her to himself? They'd just spent the better part of 4 and a half hours just in that day alone, sitting silently in the car, neither of them talking to the other.. Parts of it were because Seth wouldn't allow it, but then there was the simple fact that whenever he TRIED to talk to her, she'd shove her damn head phones in and stare out the window at traffic as if she'd rather be anywhere than with him.

Right now, she was asleep in the backseat, she had been for two hours almost. He went to lean in and pick her up, carry her into the building but Seth gave him a warning glare and then bent, picking up his baby sister over his shoulder as he said calmly, "Just go, Jon."

"What if I'm not gonna just disappear, Colby?" Dean asked as he glared at his friend, stablemate.

"Then I'm just gonna have to make you, aren't I?" Seth asked as he stood looking at him, glaring right back. It wasn't that he didn't want his baby sister to be happy, he just didn't see how two people who caused so much pain to one another in the beginning, could possibly get it right a third time around.

"Or ya gonna die tryin." Dean muttered as he flicked his cigarette at the sidewalk and then stopped, looked at the ground as he said quietly, " I love her.. Took me losing her 2 damn times to figure it out.. But now that I have, just not gonna let you get in the damn way."

"Shouldn't have taken you two damn times in the first place, man. She loved you, as is, despite all your problems, the shitty way you treated her over and over. And when you guys ended that last time, it almost killed her. As her older brother, I'm just not too sure I wanna sit back and watch it all happen again. You don't get it, man."

"Get what? I hurt too. Just never said anything. It killed me to let her walk out the door, man. But I knew I wasn't ever gonna be good enough, or what she deserved. I don't care now though, because seeing her again? Only made me realize just how much I really did want her and love her. So you can either get used to it and deal, or you can make this hard for me. But either way, I'm not gonna stop until I at least try again."

"Be fucking stubborn then, man. Just go ahead. But I'm telling you, Kylie's in a bad place right now, so I'm pretty damn sure she's gonna shoot you down. And I don't blame her, personally. Look, you're my friend, my best friend, so that gives me ample reason to call bullshit on you. And I just think that as her older brother, it also gives me the right to step in and say enough is enough."

"It's not over, man. You know it and I know it. Look, I get why you're digging your heels in, making damn sure we're NOT alone together, or we don't have a chance to talk, but can't you at least stop and think that maybe this time, I'm not lyin?"

Seth studied his friend intently, his free hand on his hair as he thought about it. He'd known Dean for a while, he could pretty much tell when the man was just bullshitting to do something out of sheer boredom.

He looked dead serious this time.

Seth took a few deep breaths and said "Fine.. If you want her? You're gonna go the long way around and do this. No shortcuts. Be there for her, be her friend and help her through all this shit she's going through right now. If you can do that.. Maybe I'll rethink my firm stance against you and her being together again.

Kylie spoke up quietly and then said "Okay, for one thing.. Put me down. And another? I'm still right here. You two have no right to decide this without talking to me." she said angrily as she got down from Seth's shoulders, picked up her bags, and shoved between the two of them.

The two men looked at her retreating back, and then at each other, before Dean swore to himself and shouldered his bags quickly, took off after her.

He tapped her shoulder and she turned around, hand on her hip, eyeing him, eyeing her brother, who wasn't going to stop him from talking to her this once, apparently. She sighed and said quietly, "What do you want? Didn't you hurt me enough? Didn't I hurt you enough the first two times we tried this?"

Dean looked at her quietly, and then said "It doesn't have to be the same way as it was then.. And you know it as well as I know it.. We ain't even close to being over. And I'm gonna prove that to ya."

She started to say something, but she remembered who she was talking to and giving a wave, she turned, picked her bags up, walked away. But everything in her was begging her, demanding her to turn around...

Even though good old fashioned common sense dictated that it would not be a smart idea at all.

She hesitated maybe a few minutes, then made herself walk into the lobby of Seth's apartment building, pushed up on the elevator as she sat down, buried her face in her hands and cried for a few minutes quietly.

Why'd her heart and her head disagree so violently with what she knew she had to do to keep her heart from being broken by him for a third time.

"Third time's the charm." Dean said to himself as he took a few deep breaths. She hadn't even been able to walk away without hesitating, he just knew it now.. It wasn't too late and somehow, he was going to show her that they belonged together, this thing with them wasn't even remotely over.


	6. Chapter 6

_x.x.x_

_"Where ya going, babe?"_

_"Nowhere.. I gotta get a move on though, I have to get back to campus."_

_"They can make it without ya just one night, babe, c'mon.. Stay with me?" Jon asked as he let a rare vulnerable moment slip. It was one of few and even farther in between. It was enough to make her stop in mid wiggle of trying to wiggle into her jeans, and really look at him. She bit her lower lip and said quietly, "Yeah. I can stay. I'll just get Ana Lauren to leave the dorm window cracked or just go from here to class."_

_"Sounds good, babe.. Now come over here." he said as he looked at her, then stood, pulled her back down onto the bed in his small apartment. He lie there, watching her sleep, just glad she hadn't left. They had been arguing really, really badly earlier._

_x.x.x_

Kylie found herself sitting on the terrace at her brother's apartment, sipping a cold beer, looking out at the ocean as she thought about the better of the times she had with Jon. She sighed as she heard the door sliding open behind her, but didn't turn around. "I'm fine, just wanted to sit out here and think." she said eventually, as she leaned back.

"Ya not fine."

"Jon, go away."

"Kylie, no." Dean said as he looked at her, then flopped down onto the patio chair sitting nearby, popped the top on his beer as he said quietly, " This is the main thing I miss about the place when I'm gone."

"The ocean?"

"Yeah. I remember all the nights we took a blanket down there, watched the stars." Jon said quietly as he looked at her. Kylie sighed as she nodded and then said "I was actually thinking about some of those nights. Remember the skinny dip in the ocean?"

"Where ya were convinced that a shark was lurkin and ya jumped in my arms, wouldn't look or stop damn screamin until I carried ya back to shore?"

"Yeah."

They shared a laugh and they looked at one another quietly, each studying the other, a million thoughts racing through their heads as they did so. She leaned in a little, he leaned in a little more, then as she realized what was about to happen, she jumped back then said quietly, "I.. I'm gonna go inside now."

He grumbled to himself as he sat watching the waves a little longer. So if he were going to do this, he needed to do it right like her brother insisted. He didn't wanna screw up his friendship, but he didn't wanna let Kylie slip out of his life a third time. If they were thrown back together for a reason, there had to be something left. Something to fight for.

But could he do this without screwing it up?

The patio door slid open again and she walked back out, sat down, looked at her hands quietly. "That last time we broke up.."

"It's alright."

"No, I need to say this. That last time we broke up, it almost killed me. I mean it literally almost destroyed me, walking away. I told myself that if all we were ever going to do was hurt one another, then that last time had to be the end. But we're right back here, now.. And you kissing me, me responding to it.. It's making all the good times come back.. But nothing can erase the bad, Jon.. I want to stop loving you.. I want to be able to walk away before we both hurt one another one too many times and something really, really bad happens.. But I can't."

She sighed as she rested her head on her hand, muttered something under her breath.

"I don't wanna be that guy anymore." he muttered quietly, casually.

"I know, and I know you're not actually that guy, Jon.. The problem is, you're so fucking afraid of feeling anything, being hurt, you try and destroy everyone else before they do it to you. And I never got it, because I loved you, even when you were at your worst."

He nodded, giving a bitter smile. "I know. I was thinkin about that a lot. I had a lot of time to think about that, since I've been around ya brother almost nonstop."

"He wasn't a shit about it, was he? I told him to be sweet, that it was nobody's fault, we were just too damn fucked up to even begin to exist together.. My problem was that I was so damn scared of living without you.. I'd have done anything to keep you.. And that scared me.."

He looked at her, asked her quietly, "Do ya mean that?"

"if I didn't, Jon, I wouldn't be saying it. And I've been on my own for a while now, other than this one recent fuck up.. It's given me time to realize that maybe the problem was me."

"It wasn't."

"But I was so damn clingy.."

"Ya weren't. I just made ya feel like shit for wantin me." he muttered as he said quietly, "I'm gonna suggest something.."

"Yeah?"

"What if we try and be friends again, see where it goes?"

Kylie thought it over.. The question in itself well, it seemed harmless enough, but she could already feel the old feelings, most of them at least, returning.. And she was afraid if she gave in to this, she'd give in until she had nothing left to give.. She'd be the same girl she'd been back then, all over again. She wasn't sure if she could handle their relationship exploding in a messy and violent way a 3rd time.

But she knew she wouldn't ever love anyone else, either, which to her was really, really bittersweet.

She thought it over for a few moments quietly then said "Fine. But you cannot try and rush me, Jon. I mean it.. I want to do this right this time. I don't want us hurting one another over and over again like we did the last two times."

"Okay, alright.. Shit, babe."

She laughed a little and then said quietly, "Your eyes always reminded me of the ocean."

"Really.."

"Yeah, really. Let's go inside. It's about to storm, I'm not gonna spend all the time you guys have off sick."

"Yeah, that'd be a bummer." Dean joked as he stood, pulled her up. When they walked in, Seth looked at him and mouthed stiffly, "Well?"

"She said we could try and be friends." he said as he sort of gave this weird smirk that kind of looked like a real smile for a minute there. Seth nodded and said "Don't fuck this up. She needs something good to equal out the bad. If you fuck this up, you will die."

He glared but nodded. He didn't blame Seth after all, Seth was just being a good older brother. From what he did know about them, Seth was pretty much all Kylie had growing up, other than their mom. They really didn't mention their dad too much, but Dean assumed they had a reason.

Maybe this time, they could get it right... He had two weeks ahead of him to be that good friend and work his way back in. But would they really be enough to do it in?

He had to hope against hope they would be, because if this failed, he knew he'd probably just go to his dark place, become a permanent resident there, never let anyone see the lighter side of darkness within himself, the less bad side.


	7. Chapter 7

_x.x.x_

He swore as he sat up in his bed, felt around.. The dream again, it'd been real, he fooled himself for a moment into thinking she was lying there in his arms again. Getting up, he stretched and walked out onto his own terrace, letting the cool night air hit his skin, the rain falling down.

"I gotta stop this."

He heard humming from Seth's terrace and looked over, saw her sitting on the lounge chair, her headphones in, singing along to a song as she stared intently at the ocean.

Even though they'd been through so much together, both times, they still managed to be so dam in sync they found themselves in the same place at the same time a lot of the time, or they had been the past few days that they'd been back here in Florida. He tossed a tennis ball he kept around to ease boredom at the terrace she sat on and then hissed quietly, "Ky?"

"What?"

"You can't sleep either?"

"No, I can't. I want to, I just can't. I've always been a night owl, Jon, you know this." Kylie said as she walked cautiously over to the part of her brother's terrace that was closest to where he stood and scooted over the railing, stepping onto his terrace as she said quietly, "I was.. Nevermind."

"What?"

"I was thinkin.. Actually, I was reminding myself how it'd never work for us, how we'd only hurt each other again if we were anything beyond friends. "

He looked at her and then migrating closer to block the wind, out of habit, when she said that and he nodded then said quietly, "Doesn't have to be that way. But ya right.. We need to do this right. Kinda completely fucked up the first two times."

"We didn't completely fuck them up, Jon, we just.."

"We did." he muttered as he held his index finger over her soft full lips, still migrating closer to her, even as he tried his best to remind himself that he'd decided he was not going to rush her this time, that this time, he had no intentions of letting go, that this time, everything they ever promised one another was going to happen. This time, there would be no next time, because he was going to make her his, keep her for the rest of his life, do his best to take care of her, love her, treat her how he should have when he had her then.

Kylie grumbled as she realized they were standing chest to chest, and she was starting to lean on him.. She knew this was not a good idea, they'd both agreed to take things slow, friends first, everything else in good time, but parts of her just had this feeling..

They belonged together.

"To hell with it." he grumbled as he leaned down, pulled her into a passionate and rough kiss, nipping at her lip, lifting her off the ground, moving to sit her on the little table on his terrace as he kept the kiss going, not giving her a chance to break the kiss or realize what was happening. When something feels right, it feels right, and he was starting to question himself, wonder if he had the willpower to take things slowly.

The kiss broke and she bit her lower lip as she said "We can't keep doing that or this, with us, will never work." and looked up at him, sighing as she added quietly, "But I just.. I keep wondering if maybe we'd be okay this time.. I'm so damn confused right now."

"Me too.. Wanna come in for a beer?"

"Probably not a good idea."

"Probably not.. I'll go grab two, come back." he said as he jogged into his apartment grabbed two beers and then back out, handing her one as he sat down in the same lounge chair she was sitting in, behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, Jon, I wanted you to kiss me, I just.. I know if we keep going like this, we're only going to wind up right back in the same shape we were in before.. And damn it, I want this to work.. I want you to be the last guy I ever kiss?" she blurted, raking her hand through her hair as she said "Crap.. I just ended this.."

He shook his head and said "No, ya didn't."

"But every time I said something like that before, ya got that deer in the headlights look, Jon and started to push me away."

He turned her around, trying to ignore that in doing this, she was now in his lap, as he said "Not this time, Kylie. I'm not gonna lie. I want ya.. I didn't know how much or just how much I loved ya until I lost ya that last time and ya didn't come right back."

"It almost killed me. I wanted to come back, I just.. I had to be alone.. Had to at least see if I could break the hold you had on my heart.."

"Well?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Kylie asked as she looked at him, then darted her eyes around the surrounding area.. The look in his eyes had her knees weak and if she really looked at him too much right now, she knew she'd make a mistake and rush into this too soon and she wanted this to be right this time.

According to him, he did too.


	8. Chapter 8

_x.x.x_

She woke up to the door being kicked in and loud yelling. She groaned as she realized exactly who it was, and what was going on. She'd known she should have went to the grocery store with her brother and Jon, but of course, her need for sleep had kind of trumped that when she'd fallen asleep during General Hospital on the couch of her brother's apartment.

Now, she was here, by herself, and she was scared again, and disgusted with herself for being scared. "Damn it, Kylie, you don't hide in fear." she scowled as she got up, moved through the semi darkened room quietly and grabbed one of the metal fireplace tools from the hearth of Colby's fireplace.

Then she tiptoed up behind him and then said quietly, "You're really going to wish you hadn't come all the way here you fucking moron." before attempting to hit him over the head with it. He turned and wrenched her hands behind her back as he smirked and said just as calmly, "Not as bad as you're gonna regret running from me." and shoved her down onto the table she stood in front of, his hands around her throat as he smirked and leaned in closer to her, squeezing her throat as tightly as he could, laughing as she struggled to breathe. She clawed at his hands, tried biting him, tried to keep herself from panicking, but he overpowered her and when she did for a moment get him by surprise by slamming her knee into his balls, he shoved her at a wall and then walked over, slapping her before he picked her up.

They'd gotten halfway down the stairs, he and Colby had, when Jon realized he'd left his wallet on Colby's counter. "Man, just give me your fucking key.. I'll be right back. And no.. I'm not gonna fucking mess with Kylie. You can come up with me if you want." he said as they stepped off of the elevator back onto their floor just in time to hear a scream coming from the busted off of the hinges door of Colby's apartment.

"God damn it." he growled as he and Jon took off at a run, bursting into the room. Before Colby could do anything, Jon lunged and took down the guy who was either trying to snap Kylie's neck or just choke her to death and growling, he straddled the guy ,punching him as hard and as much as he could in the face.

Colby got his sister out of the room and then asked, "He didn't.."

Kylie shook her head and then said "Get in there.. He's gonna kill him.." with fear widened eyes as she shoved her brother towards the door. Before he could go in, the fight came out to them and Kylie saw a flash of silver in her ex's hands. She didn't think, she just grabbed the first thing she could find and sent it smashing down over his head right as Jon and her ex began struggling for the knife in her ex's hands.

Her ex slumped forward, out for the moment and her brother took off to go find the building's security to tell them that somehow, the guy they specifically were told NOT to let in got in and almost killed his baby sister. Then he called the cops.

While the cops were on the way, Kylie helped Jon off the floor and asked quietly, "What made you guys come back?"

"I left my wallet." Jon muttered as he looked at the handprints around her throat and grimaced, reaching up then looking down as he said "I shoulda just fuckin killed him. He almost killed you."

"I'm fine, trust me.. I put up a fight."

"Ya not fine, damn it.. Why the hell didn't ya tell anybody it was this bad?"

"Because I didn't think he'd find me, damn it. I thought he'd get that I was gone when I put him in the ER the night I left his ass."

"No matter how bad it got, Kylie.. I never did that shit to ya." he muttered as he looked at her and said "Think about it, babe."

She nodded, biting her thumb quietly as she looked at him, got ice, held it to the few bruises he'd come away with. He made a very good point. Even at their worst, he'd never lost it so badly that he showed up wanting to kill her because she left him or they fought.

Sure, he'd showed up drunk and swearing at her, he'd threatened to hurt her a few times and once, she'd gotten him so mad he had smacked her, but he'd never done it again.. And he'd never done what this other guy had tonight, or any of the other times the guy had done this to her.

Then she thought about how scared she'd felt, how she'd been willing to do damn near anything to save Jon when she saw the knife in her ex's hands.

"If he'd have hurt you.."

"Don't fuckin worry about me, Kylie.. Worry about you.. How the hell did ya stay in that?"

"Because he wasn't like that all the time.. And it was kind of like me and you.. We'd fight, he'd be a good guy for a while.. he didn't s tart hitting me or even being this violent until I was done with his shit, ready to leave him and just come stay with my big brother."

"And then he started doin this?" Jon asked as he looked at her and took a few deep breaths, still trying to come off the rage he'd felt a few moments ago, walking in, seeing what he'd seen, the guy's hands on her throat like that, her face turning blue, her gasping for breath.

It was sinking in now, just how bad of a situation she'd ran from him, probably straight into. And it was also starting to sink in that if he'd lost her, he had no idea what he'd do. Was she really it for him? Was he really honest to God in love with her?

Or was this like the other two times they'd tried and failed? He'd thought so then, felt it then. But he'd never been in love before, so he wasn't quite sure how the hell it felt, in all honesty.

"Don't make excuses for that fuck, Kylie. But ya here now, ya gonna be okay."

Her brother nodded in agreement as the two of them sat talking about what they were going to do if and when her ex showed back up. Both men were really pissed at the moment and Kylie, she was shocked. . She was only JUST seeing this side of her former boyfriend, because yeah, he'd been violent before, but never like this..

Never with the intention to kill her.


	9. Chapter 9

_x.x.x_

_He paced the hallway, his hand in his hair, as he watched the doors, feeling every bit the monster she'd shouted at him that he was, before he'd slapped her earlier. He hadn't wanted to slap her, he hadn't meant to, but it'd happened. He'd lost his temper and as a result, he'd hurt the one person he never wanted to hurt._

_"You shouldn't even be here you piece of shit." her brother said as he glared at his friend, growling, every bit the pissed off and concerned older brother that he was supposed to be, that he had every right to be right now. He'd dragged Kylie to the hospital because he walked in on them fighting, Kylie hit her head during the fight, it'd busted her forehead open._

_"Colby, I'm.."_

_"Get the fuck out of my sight right now, Good." _

_Jon walked down to the garage and paced, swearing, kicking at garbage cans nearby as he wondered if Kylie were finally done with him this time, if she'd finally use her good sense and walk away from him. If she did, he wouldn't blame her, and he'd do his best to be okay with it._

_But deep down, he knew if he ever got another chance with her, he'd never let her go. He'd do his best not to screw up, he'd beg her on his knees if he had to, to be forgiven._

_He got into his car and left, and she never came back to the hotel with her brother that night. After a while, he got back into his life, though in the back of his mind, he was always thinking about her, wondering what might have been, what he'd do differently if she were back in his life._

_x.x.x_

"How fucking long does it take?" he asked from beside his friend as they sat in the waiting room of the local hospital. They hadn't been planning on bringing Kylie in, but when she fainted shortly after the policemen left, her former boyfriend Michael Morgan in handcuffs, on his way to jail, probably prison if Seth had his way about it and pressed charges..

"Shhh. Will you fucking chill the hell out, Good?"

"Sorry, I just.."

"Thank you." Seth muttered as Dean asked, "For what?"

"If you hadn't left your wallet tonight, man, we'd have been finding her dead when we got back. And for going as slowly as you can. Not saying I trust you any more than I did before, but it's a start."

He nodded and sipped the 3rd coffee he'd had in the space of an hour and then sat back, his sneaker's sole squeaking as he bounced his foot on the floor impatiently. "I'm tryin."

"I know."

The doors opened and Dean stood, looking at her as she walked out towards them, his eyes filled with concern. "Well?"

"Mild concussion.. Can we just go home now, guys? I'm fine, really." Kylie said as she sighed and hugged her brother, hugged her former boyfriend, the man she still loved but had so much bitter history with she was too scared to try again.

"Yeah. Let's go home." her brother said as she bit her lower lip, let both males put their arms around her, though on the part of Dean, it was warily. She was slowly starting to wonder if maybe they could try this again. He just didn't seem like the same man of ice he'd been back then.

But she knew what he was capable of, he knew what she was capable of. It didn't stop her from wanting to be with him again, and she was so close to just giving in.

In the car, she sat in the backseat, surprised when he got in also, sat beside her. "So.. The concussion.. that's all, right?"

"Yeah. Just still scared about it." she muttered as she leaned against him and squeezed her eyes shut. Her emotions were at war with her mind and her heart right now and none of them was winning.

The pull, the magnetism she thought she'd break by walking away the second time they crashed and burned was still there, still every bit as strong as it had been then, despite all done to damage it. Could she do this?

Did she want to go down this road again?


End file.
